Attitude

Ok Big Girls. I am going to tell you about how I feel about being used.



I am sure that at least have been in a situation where you have been involved with a man that was already in a relationship with someone else.


And I am going to go on and say this, go ahead and do it, but the majority of the time you are just going to be used.



I was in a position like this before. Where he just wanted some down and dirty before he went home to his girlfriend.

I was young of course, but now that I look back at it I realize what a slumlord this guy was, and probably still is.



And I bring this up because he had a skinny girlfriend. And he made sure that I saw them together at the place where I was working then.

What a jerk, right?


And that is why I am telling you this!



Along with your self confidence, you also have to have the right attitude about yourself (The two are different).


When that guy picked me up I exuded self confidence. I was workin' what I had.
But my attitude wasn't there. I was so absorbed in someone liking me that I went along with it.


The attitude you show other people will either give you a pass or fail grade.



Don't let people walk all over you, and don't be so overbearing that no one likes you.

You have to find the happy medium, so that you can be with someone (or even find friends) that truly likes you for you.


Being the second woman is not fun. Especially if all it is, is that you will do something that their girlfriend won't do.


We have to embrace who we are. Yes, we may be bigger than your average girl. Yes, we are still beautiful. And yes, we deserve someone who loves us for us.



Don't let anyone take advantage of you.

You deserve better than those scumbags who take advantage.


As to quote MCR "Give em' hell kid".



Always, Pauline

Confidence

One of my favorite quotes from Charlie and Chocolate Factory (the Johnny Depp version... mmmm) is: "Well, you do seem confident. And confidence is key." I love that line simply because it's so true.

It doesn't matter how expensive or cheap your clothes are if you don't have confidence, then you're going to be overlooked. While fashion and presenting yourself properly to the world is important, it won't matter if you walk hunched over like the world is about to kick your butt all the time. I like to call this the "duck and cover" walk. Dodging the insults before they're even hurled at you.

I get it, Big Girls, really I do. Our society tells us that we have to be a size negative 654 to be beautiful. That we have to disappear when we walk behind poles to be desirable. Well, i'm here to let you know that society is seriously messed up. Because, as Motormouth Maybelle says on Hairspray (the Zac Efron version... mmm) "Who wants the twig when you can have the whole tree?" That's how I've always felt. I've never understood what was so beautiful about having your bones visible through your skin. Or what was so amazing about weighing 90 pounds.

Confidence isn't easy, not for everyone. And that's why this blog is so hard for me to write. Because I've always had confidence. I've never once looked in the mirror and thought I looked horrible. Even on those days when my skin is acting a fool and my hair has decided it wants to be a 'fro, I just look at myself and say "Damn, girl. Looking good." Because that's what you have to do. Have you ever seen supermodels without their makeup? Playboy girls without their airbrushing? It's not pretty because NO ONE looks good all the time. But even on those days when you feel (and maybe look) like hell, you just have to tell yourself that you're fierce. Crazy hair? Hey, it's in. Breakout? Slap some concealer on. It's not about just looking good, it's about feeling good as well.

Another thing that I'd like to point out is that you should never have to settle for less than what you want. I know too many girls who will settle for any man that comes along. Why? Because society tells us that Big Girls aren't going to get too many offers in life and we should take what we get. Well, you know what? I REFUSE. I'm only attracted to tall, skinny men and, honey, you better believe that's all I'll date. There's nothing wrong with the larger man, it's just not my thing. And don't ever let anyone tell you that if you set your standards high that you'll be alone all your life because that's a big lie. Why would you settle for less than what you deserve? All that's going to get you is a miserable life and some ugly oaf in your bed. And trust me, you don't want that.

I don't know how to make you confident. I don't know what you like about yourself. But find that thing inside you and LOVE it.

Say this everyday (and this is my ALL TIME favorite quote thanks to Bette Midler). "I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful DAMN IT!"

Because you really are.

Strike a pose,
Anda

The Essentials

Anda and I have compiled a detailed list of the basic essentials that every Big Girl has to know. Follow the basics and you are on your way to looking good.

1. If it is too small, give it to charity
- Here are the telltale signs that it is too small:

If you have the window blind effect, which is you pull it down and it comes back up. Most of the time revealing skin that shouldn't be shown.

If your fat roll(s) hang out anywhere.

If it cuts off circulation to anything.

Now let me explain. There is a difference between tight fitting clothes, and clothes that are too small. Tight fitting clothes can work on Big Girls if you have the right body type (more on that in later blogs), but clothes that are too small look terrible on any body type. Basically, leave the skin exposure in the bedroom. Please.

2. Black doesn't always make you look thinner.

There are only two reasons that you should wear an entirely black outfit: either your goth to the extreme or you are going to (God forbid) a funeral.

When you wear black as part of an outfit, you should off set it with another color. And since black goes with any color, except brown, your possibilities are endless.

For a lot of people black pants are a staple, but if you wear those then color it up with anything. Use a color that compliments your skin tone or that goes along with your attitude at the moment. Wearing all black is depressing. When you spice up your wardrobe with color it makes things a lot more exciting when you walk into your closet.

3. Short shorts are a no-no.

This should be common sense for Big Girls.

Short shorts don't work for Big Girls for these reasons:

-We have thighs, and for the majority of us they are not perfectly smooth and toned.

-We got a lot of jiggle. And short shorts don't help the cause at all.

-Cottage cheese should only be seen in the dairy section of your supermarket, not on the way to the dairy section.

Now with that said, shorts are not all bad. When it gets hot I don my shorts nearly every day. But I suggest going with a longer short, such as the Bermuda short which hits just above the knee or at the knee. You could go with a slightly shorter short, say that hits about 3 or 4 inches above the knee, but I would not suggest going any shorter than that.

And remember, when it looks like your not wearing shorts when you have them on, they are TOO SMALL.

4.Muffin tops are not attractive.

To be honest, the only place where muffin tops are acceptable are in that one episode of Seinfeld. On a person, muffin tops are not sexy. When you have a muffin top it means that your pants are too small, and all of the excess fat and skin is being pushed over the top of your pants. It creates a "bad curve". A curve that you don't have to have. And I will be the first to admit that I love my curves, but when you have one of those ugly muffin tops, it does help the cause.

If these are a problem of yours, go up a size in your pants (I know it sucks but honestly you will look so much better when the MF is gone.). And when you buy a new pair of pants TRY THEM ON!

5. Just because your skinny friends can wear it doesn't mean you can.

Remember this when you go shopping.

Ok, so we all have skinny friends, or sisters, or cousins, or co-workers who can wear anything. Big Girls I am here to tell you that we cannot. Halter tops are one of my biggest pet peeves on Big Girls. Just because they come in our sizes doesn't mean that we should wear them, or that it will look good and flatter our bodies. We are who we are. We have curves. If you want to wear what the skinny bitches wear, then you have to be the size that they are. Dress appropriately for your body. You will look better, and you will feel better.

6. If you have a wide foot, buy a wide width shoe.

Shoes can make or break an outfit. When you have a fat roll on your foot because you squeezed your foot into a shoe that is too small it looks Terrible. With a capital "T". It is not good for your foot. It can cause foot problems and back problems. When you buy a properly fitting shoe it makes a world of difference. Wide foot=a wide width shoe. Your feet and back will thank you oh so much.

If you have problems finding a wide width shoe, go online! I suggest zappos.com.

7.Leather pants don't even look good on rock stars!

Ok look, we only liked it when the rock stars wore it because they were famous. Anything that will nearly chafed you instantly is a bad, bad, bad idea. They don't look good. Don't wear them. That is enough said on that subject.

8. Oversized t-shirts and pants don't make you look thin.

Wearing clothes that are too big is silly! Big t-shirts should be reserved for sleeping. It does not make you look thin because you are swimming in your shirt. It makes you look like a clown. Now for the baggy pants. Wearing big pants makes you look bigger. It is also dangerous. You could trip and fall on the excess material. Plain and simple, wearing clothes that fit make you look good.

9. Leggins and skinny jeans.

Leggins and skinny jeans are reserved for those of us who have nice legs. Nice legs are defined as shapely, not one size throughout your leg. If you have tree trunks for legs, skinny jeans and leggins are not advised. Use discretion when wearing these kinds of pants. If they do not look good on you, don't follow the trend and wear them. Flatter your body. If your legs are not one of the best features then don't draw attention to them.

10. Not all prints are created equal.

Prints are a tricky subject. Some are good some are not. And it is sometimes very hard to find one that flatters your body. The main rule to follow is is to not have the print be overbearing. The print cannot be too small or too large . Make sure that you try on whatever print that you like. If it is too small it will make you look huge, if it is too large it will make you look unproportionate. A print can look amazing, you just have to find the right one that makes you look good.

Those are the basic 10 essentials to clothing. But Anda and I have decided that we need to address a few more issues in this first official Big Girl Code blog.

We are moving onto hygiene.

1. Bathing.

Some people have a certain smell about them. B.O. is worse than bad breath. A mint can cure bad breath. But bad body odor is a harder challenge to tackle for some people.

Get some good body wash, and a pouffe. Washing everywhere is also a must. Every nook and cranny.

2. Facial hair on women.

Facial hair is a pain in the ass for every woman. As 21st century women, we have to do it. Get out of the caveman days and pluck and wax your face, girls! Once you get into a routine it's not hard to stick to. Plus, pain releases endorphins into the blood stream. You'll feel better after you get waxed!

3. Hair color.

If you decide to dye your hair some color other than your natural color, you must do the upkeep on it! Dying your hair is a commitment, if you want it to look good. Trust me, I had red hair for 8 years, and I dyed it every single month, professionally. It is not something that you can let go of. Especially if you go with a much lighter color than your natural color. Light hair and dark roots do not mix. Like oil and water, they will never go together.

There you go Big Girls. The very basic essentials.

More to come soon!!

xoxox-Pauline

An Introduction- part deux.

First off, I'd like to easy any aggravation by saying that, "No, i'm not some skinny bitch picking on the girls who grace the larger side of life." I not only grace the larger side of life, I run the whole damn party. Get it? I've always been big, I'll probably always be big, and I'll never EVER be ashamed of who I am. I'm big, tattooed, opinionated, and, I'll be honest, a little bitchy.

And I can not stand to see some fat bitch in clothes that don't fit. God may have given you those extra pounds, but damn girl, that doesn't mean he wanted you to share that view with the world. I work retail and there is a woman who comes in, and God bless her, we get to see ALL of her. Hide that stomach, cover up that cellulite, TAKE A BATH. I'm sick and tired of these girls giving all of us a bad name. Guess what? I'm thick, stylish, and clean.

I'm not saying that big girls should hide out. Hell no, do your thing, girls! Just make sure you look good while doing it. That's where I, along with my best friend Pauline, come in. Don't look a hot mess, ladies. Don't know how? We'll teach you. We won't lead you wrong, promise.

Follow us on our twitter! twitter.com/thebiggirlcode
Follow me! twitter.com/halloweennanda
Follow Pauline! twitter.com/mspauline89

An Introduction

Hello all you Big Girls, this is Pauline and I am here to say that some of the stuff that Big Girls wear is just not enough. Literally. I have been all over the country and I have seen millions of Big Girls wearing cut off shirt and daisy dukes. And trust me on this one, you are not sticking it to all the skinny bitches out there who wear the same exact thing. The thing is girls, is that when you go out into public with your belly hanging out and it looks like your not even wearing shorts because they are so short, that makes every Big Girl look bad. And to be completely honest nobody likes that (unless they have a fetish, in which case that can be done within the privacy of your own home). My Best friend Anda and I are two Big Girls and when we go out there is nothing that would make people's heads turn for a bad reason. And when you wear clothes that don't fit you, or are overly tight and skin shows that's not suppose to be showing people will look. But trust me, they won't be ogling your body for a good reason. If you want to be seen as a Big Girl and not a fat bitch (not that there is anything wrong with being a bitch) read our blog. If you don't know how to dress for your size- we can help! You can be a Big Girl and still look amazing. Anda and I do it every day. We have set out to give the Big Girl community a good name, but we need your help too.
You can be fat and fabulous...and we'll show you how.
xoxox-Pauline