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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Your Boyfriend Is An Accesory

This blog is going to deal with your greatest, and sometimes most troublesome, accessory. Your boyfriend.

I hope all of you out there are either happily single or have found a man that makes you happy and treats you like the fabulous big girl you are.

You know what makes me mad? When I see a beautiful, stylish, fabulous girl with a guy who looks like he A) has been playing in the mud, B) is pretty sure Zest is something you use to spice up the chicken, or C) feels that he’s with a big girl so he doesn’t have to try to look good because she’ll stay with no matter what. (Sadly, C is pretty much a reality when dealing with a girl who has no self-esteem.) Think of your boyfriend as a staple in your wardrobe of life- he should compliment your changes and personality and should look good while doing it.

The problem? Some guys are resistant to change and some of you ladies are lazy. I know it takes a lot to mold a guy, trust me I do. But that’s where it gets fun. Think of your man as a vintage bag. Someone else has owned him at one point, they might have even messed him up, and now it’s your turn to wipe the dirt away and buff out all the scuff marks.

I like to think of my boyfriend as a pair of Christian Louboutin’s that another girl left out in the rain. When we first met, I knew he’d be a lot of work. He was tall and lean, had great hair and teeth, and knew that he could melt a girl with his smile. Problem? His clothes. His last girlfriend had been some freak show who thought that boys only looked good in those god-awful Tripp pants and black t-shirts. I like to think that he was young and impressionable (she was older than him) rather than he actually liked those stupid pants. Honest to God, the pants almost ruined everything. Silly, but true. I did give him a chance and it turned out to be one of the best things I ever did.

But those pants had to go.

I didn’t charge in and throw out his whole wardrobe, and you shouldn’t try to do it either. Men hate change, it’s a fact. Do as I did and gradually introduce new things to him. The first thing I bought him was a few pairs of jeans, regular fit and skinny. Then we started going shopping together. At first, he hated going anywhere that wasn’t Hot Topic, but I finally got him to go into a few different stores. It took me a week to convince him to wear a V-neck, but when he finally did, he realized how ridiculous a V-neck looks with those horrible Tripp pants and he started wearing the skinny jeans. Once you get your guy out of his comfort zone, BACK OFF. Too much, too soon will propel him back into his ugly habits. After a few months, he realized how much he loved the skinny jeans and the V-necks and slim fit tees. Once he was comfortable with that, I added to his wardrobe. A cute vest, some nice button downs, etc.

Now, why did I go to all this trouble? Because he is my vintage bag, my Louboutin’s, my arm candy.

I'm not saying that you can't love your man and all his flaws because you can. But wouldn't you tell your best friend if she was looking a hot mess? Yeah, I thought so. It's the same principle.

Your boyfriend is your accessory, ladies. Do not let him go into public smelling or looking a hot mess. Because no one wants to see your honey at his worst.

Remember, “I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’M BEAUTIFUL, DAMN IT!”
Xoxox
Anda

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Acceptance

Being big in a thin-centric world is hard. It's not impossible though.
I am nearly 100% positive that all of us have been at the butt end of jokes and other ridicule due to our weight. Especially in grade school. But now that we are grown up, how do we deal with it?

How do we deal with an unruly classmate in college or a jerk at the office?
It isn't the easiest thing to deal with, but it is a fact that Big Girls (and guys too) get teased. And I am going to try and give you some ideas about how to deal with it. And how to do it without throwing a punch or going to jail.

All kinds of people pick on us. And they can be broken down into three different categories. The skinny bitch, the average joe, and the ugly.


First the reason why the skinny bitch takes swipes at us. They can be male or female. But they are pretty much all the same. The reason they say ugly things about our weight is that they are mad at us. They hate us because we can look good at our size. And it especially pisses them off when we have a man hanging off of us and they don't.

Second is the average joe. They can also be male or female. I usually have found that this is a small percentage compared to the other two categories. But these people tease because of their own attitude. They might have had a bad day or week or they are going through something that has them down and they want to drag you down with them so that they don't feel that they are alone on the bottom. Basically they want a "pick me up", and to them we are the perfect target.

Last is the ugly. Now don't give me grief for saying what I am about to say, because I know we have all been through it. But physically ugly people love to tease us Big Girls. And when I say ugly, I mean when they fell out of the ugly tree, every single branch hit them on the way down. And they tease us about our weight because people teased them about their physical attributes, or lack there of. It is a vicious cycle.

And as for being ugly, all three types of these people are ugly. If not on the outside then on the inside. And if it at all makes you feel any better about it, we may be fat, but they will always be ugly. Not even the greatest plastic surgeon can fix what's on the inside. Ever.


To deal with these people, depending on where you were, I would either 1. just walk away. Defuse the situation by leaving. If you do this, it takes away the power of what they said to you. This works well if you are in a situation where you do not have to deal with the person(s) on a daily basis or very much at all.
Or 2. Confront them. Get on your big fat soap box and tell em that yes, I am a Big Girl, and yes I am just as attractive as skinny Sally in accounting, or the girl in the cowboy hat standing at the bar. Beauty is as beauty does. So I'm not your cup of tea with heavy cream? Don't look, dickhead.

When people start in on you, they do it because of their own self image and self esteem issues. Don't let their words drag you through the mud. You are not a mat and you are not to be walked all over. You are worth far too much for that.

And I know that just because you are confident, it doesn't mean that the words don't hurt.
I would journal about it, or talk to your friends about it. Get a therapist if you need to. The whole "suffer in silence" thing isn't worth the emotional damage that you may suffer from in the end.
Talk about it with people and it will take a huge weight off your shoulders.

And always remember: Hold your head up. Be confident, plus confidence is a very sexy thing. You are beautiful. Live your life on your terms, and don't let all of the jerks in this world mess with your head.

Don't be afraid, Big Girls!
You run this world.

Xoxo- Pauline

Friday, September 10, 2010

When Skinny Jeans Attack!

While I was walking to class the other, I saw a girl who looked like her jeans were attacking here. Seriously. They appeared to be cutting into her thighs and hips, and I think they may have been trying to strangle her calves.

Here’s the deal, ladies. There is a difference between “skinny jeans” and “strangle jeans”. When you’re a big girl, skinny jeans are something you MUST approach carefully. Not all big girls can rock the fitted jeans, and if you can’t, then don’t wear them.

Signs that your skinny jeans are too skinny:
1) If they give you a muffin top.
2) If you lose any type of feeling and/or circulation.
3) If you can’t bend your knees.
4) If the material makes any of your jiggle bulge.

Seriously, though, I can’t imagine wearing anything that would make me uncomfortable. Fashion doesn’t have to be painful (we leave that to the skinny bitches).

Also, I feel compelled to add that they make jeans to fit every sort of girl out there. (Pauline did a blog on body types. If you missed it, go read it.) Lane Bryant and Avenue both sell an array of jeans that fit your body type and are reasonably affordable. Several times a year both stores have sales on jeans. Why am I saying this? Because I can not STAND the sight of big girls in cloth shorts and sweat pants. Honestly, I can’t stand the sight of ANY woman in sweat pants in public. I especially hate when bigger girls try to copy that ugly fad skinny bitches seem to love (wearing ironically large sweat pants when they are a size 0). That doesn’t work for us, girls. It just makes us look larger. ESPECIALLY when you wear the sweat pants that have the elastic at the bottom that hugs your ankle. If you must wear sweat pants (and I really wish you wouldn’t), then choose the type that is open ended at the bottom. (the Starter brand offers a line of these).

I admit, I occasionally wear sweat pants. At home. Where no one can see me except for my dogs. Never in public, though.

Another thing you should never wear in public? Cloth shorts. Cloth shorts are made for sleepy time and nothing else. They make me ill for two reasons. 1) They never stay in place. At some point that are going to ride up and you are either going to have to pull them down (ick) or just walk around with what I like to call an “all around wedgie (use your imagination). 2) A person who wears cloth shorts are usually wearing a t-shirt, probably a dirty t-shirt, and therefore they do not looked pulled together.

That’s the whole point of this blog, right? To look better, too feel better, and too deal with life’s big girl haters. You don’t feel good? Don’t feel like dressing up? You’d be surprised how good a messy (think surfer chic) ponytail, fitted jeans, and a nice t-shirt or hoodie looks. And that is low maintenance.

So, here’s the spill: Wear jeans, not sweat pants/cloth shorts. Don’t wear strangle jeans.

And as always, remember: “I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’M BEAUTIFUL, DAMN IT!”
Xoxox
Anda

What's Under Your Clothes?

Girls, here we are again with another important topic: bras and panties.

I am going to start with bras because finding the right fit with your bras can make a world of difference in how you look and feel.

You will want to re-measure every 3 to 6 months, especially if you weight fluctuates frequently or if your bras are “rubbing you the wrong way”. If more of your boob is falling out of your cup than what actually fits inside, it is defiantly time to get measured again.

Properly measuring yourself for your bra size is essential.
I will explain how to do this as well. But always remember that you can go and get professionally measured at no charge.

Now, when you measure yourself what you are going to do is

1. Measure around the fullest part of your bust (bust measurement) . This includes measuring over your nipple. Do not pull the tape tightly across your ta-tas. This is what is going to determine the correct cup size, and if you pull it too tightly you will end up with a smaller cup size than you really need.

2. Measure directly underneath your breasts. This measurement needs to be flush to your skin because this is your band size, and you do not want this to be too large.
Now when you have finished doing those two measurements, you are going to subtract the two numbers and use the chart below to figure out your cup size.

Ex: 46-42= 4, therefore the cup size would be a D and the band size would be a 42.

2 inches= B cup 6 inches= DDD cup
3 inches= C cup 7 inches= F cup
4 inches= D cup 8 inches= G cup
5 inches= DD cup 9 inches= H cup

If you feel like you haven’t measured yourself right, then go to a professional. I know for a fact that most Lane Bryant stores and Victoria’s Secret stores will measure you.

When you measure you may be surprised to find out how big your chest really is. Many women, even the skinny ones (well some of them, at least) have no idea what their size really is. When you wear out your current bra stash, measure yourself (which should be every 3 to 6 months). It doesn’t hurt to recheck it.

Once you know your bra size, things get easier and you can move on to panties (Thanks again Carrie)!

Pantie shopping is one of my most favorite pastimes. And even being a Big Girl myself, when I am with my significant other, I love to show them off. I love being in a pair of sexy panties. It makes you feel feminine and hot when you have on something lacy, or a racy thong.

Even if you don’t have someone to look at you in your panties it is still fun to stand in front of the mirror in your bra and panties and flaunt your stuff. And I highly suggest that you do this. It’s a great self-esteem booster, and I do it every single day. Remember to love yourself! Plus panties are fun. All kinds of designs and colors, and the things that these designers are coming up with are amazing. Whether you feel like wearing girl shorts, things, briefs or bikinis, there is something out there for you.
There is no need for granny panties anymore Girls! Even if you are a granny!

I am one hot, sexy bitch, you are one hot, sexy bitch, so show that stuff off! Flaunt it like you own the place!

As always, we welcome any questions or comment. Leave them here or email us at prtali@yahoo.com

Have fun Big Girls!

Xoxo Pauline

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Color!

We are going to dive right into the rainbow today, Girls!

Personally, I love color. And I know a lot of Big Girls out there are afraid of color.
And I'm going to tell you this right now, it doesn't make any sense to blend in!

Ever since I have embraced myself and my size I have been liberated from the black, white and gray wardrobe of my younger years.

And I am set out to liberate you too!

Color is an amazing thing. It shows off your personality, your individuality, and it shows that you are a person who is going to go out and been seen, and not sit back in the background unnoticed.

Every color is important. Remember "roygbiv" from grade school? You need these colors in your closet.

Now you do have some rules for color, though.
They are simple common sense though.

Rule 1- Black and brown does not go together! Ever!
It just doesn't work.

Rule 2- If you wear a colorrful top, don't wear colorful pants with it.
If you wear an all red outfit, 9 times out of 10 people will think you are a walking advertisement for tomatoes. This goes for any outfit. I remember one Halloween I took my niece and nephew trick-or-treating and I dressed up like a raver, in all orange. All night people thought I was a pumpkin. It is a good thing to break up the color.

Rule 3- You can still wear black!
Wearing black is not a no-no. You can add color to your outfit with accessories.
Belts, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and of course a fabulous handbag.
Also, I find that wearing a simple colorful jacket, can make a neutral outfit shine.

Rule 4- When you are matching shoe color, use the color of your top, not your pants.
By having your shoes match your top, it ties everything together. You have no loose ends and you look completed. If you don't have a corresponding shoe to your top color try to find a coordinating color. And if all else fails, black shoes go with everything. Yes, black shoes!

Rule 5- Consider your skin tone
Some colors look better on different skin tones. Try on some colors and see how they look with your skin tone. If it washes out your skin, put it back and try something else. There are colors out there for everyone. The sky is the limit.

Rule 6- Use your imagination!
Some people are scared of color, I know. It can be a scary thing when you are used to wearing very neutral colors all the time. But when you decide to spice up your wardrobe, think outside the box. Try some colors you never thought about wearing. They may look awesome on you.




Don't be afraid of color Big Girls! Don't stand in the shadows anymore. Tell the world who you are, and show it off!! Be proud of who you are, claim it, and work it.
And as always, try it on before you buy it. Color is a good thing but if you hate the particular color then try something else.
If you need help, contact us!
prtali@yahoo.com. We welcome and questions or comments that you have!

Color everything Girls!
-Pauline