Halloween

I was having lunch with a friend earlier today and we were discussing out Halloween costumes. At one point in the conversation, he looks at me and says, “I just hope I’m not going overboard.”
My first reaction was to be horrified. Halloween is the perfect time to go overboard and let loose. Wear a wig, create a new persona, be who you want to be. That’s why Halloween is my favorite holiday (that and the fact that Halloween is indeed my birthday. I’ll be 21 and, yes, I will be accepting birthday wishes all week!) But then I decided that there are provisions to the whole concept of letting loose, especially for us Big Girls. A friend of a friend decided she was going as a “slut” for Halloween. Her costume consisted of a bustier, thong, and fishnets. I kindly asked her where she was going to store her fat for the night. Harsh, true, but she ultimately decided not to wear the “costume” and picked something different.
So, here’s a guideline for Halloween costumes.
1) Some things are ok to wear on Halloween. Take this as an example: I hate shiny leggings. Hate them. But for Halloween, I’ll wear them because nothing says Rocky Horror “Sweet Transvestite” quite like shiny leggings. Not matching is totally acceptable on Halloween, too.
2) But don’t think that Halloween gives you a free pass to let it all hang out. Because while it may be something you don’t wear everyday, giving your friends/coworkers an eyeful of what you have going on underneath your clothes is not something you can magically erase.
3) Just because Lady GaGa wore it, doesn’t mean you should. Please refrain from covering yourself with slabs of meat.
4) Ironic costumes are a no-no. I never really understood the point of a big girl/guy wearing a cow/sumo/fat ballerina costume. Story time: I was at work the other day and we do, unfortunately, have the fat ballerina costume. If you’ve never seen this costume atrocity, let me describe it for you: it’s made out of this plasticy material. Flesh colored arms and legs, pink leotard, gold tutu. You fill it up with air. Get the picture? Ok, back to the story. This girl (big but not fabulous) comes in with all her little skinny friends and she BUYS THIS COSTUME. Guess what? It’s sad, not ironic, if you don’t need the air pump to fill out the costume.
5) Wear make-up. And lots of it. If you’re one of the ones who never wears make-up, then Halloween should be your time to do so. I love it. Pink/red/lime green eyeshadow and lots of it. Bright red/black/purple/grey lipstick and lots of it. Fake tattoos and fake eyelashes. Wigs! Wear a wig! All of it’s good and fun and you should enjoy it!
So, whether you decide to be a monster or a witch or a punk rocker, make sure that you’re having fun with it, that you look rad as can be and that above all you won’t be embarrassed when people post pictures of you on face book.
Happy Haunting, my dears.
And, as always, “I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’M BEAUTIFUL, DAMN IT!”
Xoxox

Anda
Questions? Comments? Birthday wishes? ;)

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