Confidence

One of my favorite quotes from Charlie and Chocolate Factory (the Johnny Depp version... mmmm) is: "Well, you do seem confident. And confidence is key." I love that line simply because it's so true.

It doesn't matter how expensive or cheap your clothes are if you don't have confidence, then you're going to be overlooked. While fashion and presenting yourself properly to the world is important, it won't matter if you walk hunched over like the world is about to kick your butt all the time. I like to call this the "duck and cover" walk. Dodging the insults before they're even hurled at you.

I get it, Big Girls, really I do. Our society tells us that we have to be a size negative 654 to be beautiful. That we have to disappear when we walk behind poles to be desirable. Well, i'm here to let you know that society is seriously messed up. Because, as Motormouth Maybelle says on Hairspray (the Zac Efron version... mmm) "Who wants the twig when you can have the whole tree?" That's how I've always felt. I've never understood what was so beautiful about having your bones visible through your skin. Or what was so amazing about weighing 90 pounds.

Confidence isn't easy, not for everyone. And that's why this blog is so hard for me to write. Because I've always had confidence. I've never once looked in the mirror and thought I looked horrible. Even on those days when my skin is acting a fool and my hair has decided it wants to be a 'fro, I just look at myself and say "Damn, girl. Looking good." Because that's what you have to do. Have you ever seen supermodels without their makeup? Playboy girls without their airbrushing? It's not pretty because NO ONE looks good all the time. But even on those days when you feel (and maybe look) like hell, you just have to tell yourself that you're fierce. Crazy hair? Hey, it's in. Breakout? Slap some concealer on. It's not about just looking good, it's about feeling good as well.

Another thing that I'd like to point out is that you should never have to settle for less than what you want. I know too many girls who will settle for any man that comes along. Why? Because society tells us that Big Girls aren't going to get too many offers in life and we should take what we get. Well, you know what? I REFUSE. I'm only attracted to tall, skinny men and, honey, you better believe that's all I'll date. There's nothing wrong with the larger man, it's just not my thing. And don't ever let anyone tell you that if you set your standards high that you'll be alone all your life because that's a big lie. Why would you settle for less than what you deserve? All that's going to get you is a miserable life and some ugly oaf in your bed. And trust me, you don't want that.

I don't know how to make you confident. I don't know what you like about yourself. But find that thing inside you and LOVE it.

Say this everyday (and this is my ALL TIME favorite quote thanks to Bette Midler). "I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful DAMN IT!"

Because you really are.

Strike a pose,
Anda